If It Sounds Too Good To Be True…

He's Lying

When this $4500 minimum trade-in for a new car deal was first announced;

June 25th, President Obama signed a new car sales stimulus bill into law. The legislation could make that old gas guzzler in the driveway worth a lot more.

I waited for the “catch” and, sure enough, there you go, baby!

The rules determination how the program works are still being written and finalized.

That’s code for “We’re going to see how we can stick it to yo’ ass”.

For your car or light truck to be eligible it must be drivable, been owned and insured continuously for at least one year. The car must have been manufactured between mid 1984 and 2001. It must have a combined gas mileage of 18 miles per gallon or less

18 miles, remember that for a minute because here’s where you gets:


Some car shoppers are finding that their trade-in vehicles, which qualified for a Cash for Clunkers rebate last week, don’t this week thanks to changes in the EPA’s fuel economy ratings.

In some cases, car buyers say, dealers are backing out of sales they’ve already made because the EPA changed the fuel economy figures on their trade-in.


“My wife just received a call from the sales manager saying that our clunker doesn’t qualify anymore, and that we could either pay the extra $4,500 or return the new car (and get our old car back),” a car buyer wrote Tuesday on a message board at the Edmunds.com automotive Web site.auntgladys

I’m hip, Aunt Gladys! Somebody just got played.

Another car shopper emailed CNNMoney.com saying he went to the Environmental Protection Agency’s fueleconomy.gov Web site on Saturday to double-check the fuel economy rating for his 1987 Mercury Grand Marquis. When he had visited previously, the car’s combined city and highway fuel economy was rated at 18 miles per gallon, making it eligible for the program.

Hmmm, that 18 miles figure again…hmmm.

But on Saturday, he found something different: The fuel economy for his car had been raised to 19 mpg — one mile per gallon over the maximum fuel-efficiency allowed under the Car Allowance Rebate System (aka Cash for Clunkers). As a result, he became ineligible for a trade-in credit worth up to $4,500.

It’s the government and car salesmen getting together to give you a deal.  The Government and Car Salesmen.  Come on, you knew how this was going to end, right?




Gregory Hines, Eubie Blake & The Pina Colada Song


I think my subconscious has had enough of this Skip Gates low-grade dogfood mess because this memory of two entertainment legends, Gregory Hines and Eubie Blake performing together popped in my head and I thought that maybe it was a dream or something.

Turns out that it actually happened, on Saturday Night Live 30 years ago, in March of 1979. 1979? The Pina Colada Song, Ladies Night, Sultans Of Swing and Rapper’s Delight (Superman and Lois Lane were part of the first rap hit, now that’s pure pop culture!) were big hits that year. I didn’t even have to look that up, either. I can remember making a mixtape with those songs on it. That was a bitchin’ mixtape! I loved radio back in the day, sigh.

snl 1979

Anyway, Gary Busey (pre space cadet/pre brain injury Busey) was the host. I can’t even imagine him suggesting Hines & Blake as his musical guests, I bet he would have went for rockers or something…
anyway, here they are. Classic stuff!

Vodpod videos no longer available.


Skip Gates, Week 2 AKA This Week In Misplaced Priorities…

a81d3_ObamaGoshSigh.  I’m not going say I TOLD YOU SO, again.  Let’s just cut to the chase:

Well, I should say at the outset that Skip Gates is a friend, so I may be a little biased here. I don’t know all the facts. What’s been reported, though, is that the guy forgot his keys. He jimmied his way to get into the house. There was a report called into the police station that there might be a burglary taking place. so far so good. Right? I mean, if I was trying to jigger in — well, I guess this is my house now so it probably wouldn’t happen. Let’s say my old house in Chicago. here I’d get shot. But so far so good. They’re reporting, the police are doing what they should. There’s a call. They go investigate what happens. My understanding is at that point Professor Gates is already in his house. The police officer comes in. I’m sure there’s some exchange of words but my understanding is that Professor Gates then shows his I.D. to show that this is his house. And at that point he gets arrested for disorderly conduct, charges which are later dropped. Now, I don’t know, not having been there and not seeing all the facts what role race played in that, but I think it’s fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry. Number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home and, number three, what I think we know separate and apart from this incident is that there is a long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately. And that’s just a fact.–President Obama, last week answering the last question at the end of a prime-time press conference about something much more important that no one remembers because of the President’s reply to the last question. Doh (oh, it was health care, the purpose of the press conference was health care.)

I remember the last President who didn’t have all the right facts:

mission_accomplished02-hiresWell son of a b*tch, President Obama, I’m comparing you to THAT ONE.  Jesus wept.

No, not having all the facts about your friend, Skip’s Big Arrest, can not even begin to compare to some of the last guy’s greatest “I didn’t know thats”.  However, one would thnk that President Obama, more than anyone, should know by now that everyone hangs on to each of his words as if they were hanging on a cold, cold ledge on K2 and are ready to eat him up like catfish when there’s an opening in anything that he says. 

Starting any sentence with “I don’t know all the facts” or  “I may be a little biased here” would get me roasted in my own home, President Obama, you’re the Leader Of The Free F*ckin’ World!  Come on, I knew that this wasn’t going to end well as soon as you said that.

We just went through 8 years of questionable comments and other ridiculous bulls*it, so, yeah, when you say a day later:

“I have to say I am surprised by the controversy surrounding my statement,” Obama said in an interview with ABC News, “because I think it was a pretty straightforward comment that you probably don’t need to handcuff a guy, a middle-aged man who uses a cane, who’s in his own home.”

You were surprised?  Really?  But you didn’t have all the facts!  How else did you expect this to go?  Sheesh, I could have gave you the facts about Skip being hauled down to the hoosegow.

It’s a new day in America, jack. Gone are the days when the President can even think about having U.S. troops invade Buffalo. New York. America. Really. (I ain’t making that up) and no one goes, “Dude, what the f*ck?  You can’t invade, Buffalo!  Detroit, on the other hand…”

Oh, well, once the genii was out the bottle…

  • Police unions respectfully requested that the President reconsider his earlier comments demanded an apology
  • Oprah’s sidekick, Gayle King says she was “surprised” by the President’s comments.  Why is Gayle King even mentioned?  Because her show was one of Skip Gates’ stops on his racial profile media tour.
  • Tim Wise, the white guy who’s made a career out of saying the things that every black person with common sense already knows but since he’s white, he’s gets to go on TV and radio talk shows, to add the “Well, see, a white guy agrees with us” oomph factor to the discussion added his thoughts on the controversy
  • The Cambridge PD came to the defense of their fellow officer, led by a very pissed off “Officer Friendly” and the black representatives of the letters L and K


The only thing that was missing from this mess was these two

jesse and alObviously, they are still on retainer to Joe Jackson, in seclusion following the Michael Jackson funeral.  Don’t worry, fellas, you can still jump in and piss everybody off again once this bad boy begins to die down.  You better hurry up, Skip and The Cop have been invited by The President to the White House to have a beer

Nice.  Skip has turned a already questionable racial incident (maybe Skip thought it was a raid, click HERE and scroll down to the second story to see what I’m reaching big time for, maybe getting at) into a media tour, upcoming PBS specials, a book deal and an potential FOX sitcom.

I don’t know about you, but for me, I don’t care if the President did invite me to the White House to do it, there is no way in hell I would go have a beer and make peace with some dude who I felt treated me and my civil liberties like s*it as if it was a disagreement over borrowed tools.  

The President hopes that this “incident” would be a “teachable moment”


I have much better topics to discuss in class.  But, hey, enjoy those beers, guys.

Skip Gates Is Free, Now Go Somewhere & STFU


In the past 24, give or take a few, hours, since I first posted about Henry Louis “Skip” Gates’ arrest by the Cambridge PD:

  • obama fist bump new yorkerreports that “Gates was arrested for being black while at home.”
  • Boris Koejoe (?!) tells CNN what it feels like to be treated like the help in his mansion:

“When I’m opening the door of my own house, someone will ask me where the man of the house is, implying that I’m staff,” said Kodjoe, best known for starring in Showtime’s “Soul Food.”–Boris Koejoe



*sidebar*  I, too feel like the hired help, in my “mansion”, too, Boris.  It’s called THE HONEY DO LIST, Shut up, Boris.

Seriously, I wouldn’t give a flying f*ck offa high dive what anybody who came ringing on my doorbell thought of me, for I would have been more annoyed with them interrupting me from counting my money while soaking in a hot-tub filled with Cristal champagne or whatever it is the rich folks do these days.

This morning, I’m listening to TJMS and Skip-To-My-Lou Gates “attorney/agent” Charles “Charlie Hustle” Ogletree (before I said I didn’t know if he had a nickname, but after all the running around he’s done since Skippy’s “harsh” treatment by the po-po, I’ve given him one) was being interviewed by that man about town himself, Roland “The Name-Droppa” Martin.

Of course, Charlie Hustle defended his boy while announcing that their Gates next special will be on racial profiling.

Didn’t I say that this is where this mess was headed, yesterday?  Didn’t I say that the Cambridge PD was going to rue the day they actually did their job and got “bamboozled” into arresting Skip Gates?  Didn’t I say that by the time this was all said and done, Skippy was gonna parlay his big mouth getting him arrested when what he should have done is STAYED IN THE HOUSE (Rule #1 of the WHAT A BLACK MAN NEEDS TO DO WHEN THE COPS COME A KNOCKIN’) into the biggest mistreatment of a black man since Lil Kim sang a Cyndi Lauper song at Nelson Mandela’s birthday party this past weekend?

The torture! Lil' Kim's singing is worse than 27 years locked up in an South African jail, aieeee!

The torture! Lil' Kim's singing is worse than 27 years locked up in an South African jail, aieeee!

Yes, I did.

In his interview with The New Yorker, even Skip knows he’s blowing so much smoke up our asses right now that he’s giving us all cancer of the rectum:

But Gates knows “that what happened to me, happens over and over and over to black men in America, and you sure don’t read about it on A1.”

No s*it, Sherlock.

When you’re putting on your make-up for your next close-up Dr. Gates, please take the following in mind:

Somebody is out there really getting their arse kicked behind some REAL racial profiting, true story, mofo. What happened to you wasn’t really racial profiling.  It was more like “your mouth writing a check that your ass couldn’t cash”.


Let’s be real, now.  You live in a predominantly white neighbor hood, dude.  You know what goes with that.   If somebody even remotely look like they’re up to no good, the cops are going to get called.  This should be the rule of thumb everywhere on the planet, regardless of color.  But the world isn’t fair and it’s filled with neighborhoods where rules such as “Black Man=Bad” or “Snitchin’=Bad” and all the good ones caught up in the midst.


Sure you were having a long, tiring day, Skip.  We’ve all been there.  The last thing you needed was some police coming by and giving you a hard time about you living there.  You showed them your ID and asked for their names and badge numbers and they backed off.  That should have been the end of it and if you were still pissed, call your lawyerball partners, tell them what’s up and take it to the higher ups.  But, noooooo, you had to let the cops know how mad you were and made the big time mistake of walking out your house to continue your tirade and here we are.


Do you fellows know Skip Gates?

There is no law against speaking your mind, being pissed off and even pulling the race card.  But there are also unwritten rules when it comes to certain things and for the Black Man v. Police, there are so many out there, you could fill the Library Of Congress with books and books about “the rules”.  There are many, many cops who don’t judge people by the color of their skin or lose it when somebody loses their cool…but there are also those out there who will profile you in a heartbeat and those who will “go there” if you let them.  The really bad thing is, you can’t tell them apart most of the time.   What I am trying to say is, “Skip Gates is lucky he didn’t catch a arsewhoopin’ or worse”.


Now I think he has a case...

Right now, someone’s out there in real trouble, Skip’s lucky not to be one of them.  Hell, I’ve been in far worse predicaments than Skip was and I didn’t get as much as a ticket because I knew that you’re not going to win an argument against the cops the majority of the time and there’s a time and place for everything.  Plan accordingly.

More importantly, Dr. Gates should have known better, too.  You don’t need an Harvard education to know good old fashioned common sense.

Remember that while you’re prepping for your next interview about your “CRASH” moment, Skip.

Shut up, Skip!

Shut up, Skip!

Oh, Aunt Gladys!

The DNA Test Results Are In…


You’re a suspect black man, Skip Gates.

By now, everyone has heard about the CRASH moment the arrest of Henry Louis Gates, Jr. (Skip to his crew posse homies friends and family) so I won’t bore you with the details again.  Just the highlights.

The first thing that leaped off the page at me was:

Cambridge police say they responded to the well-maintained two-story home

What?  A brotha with a nice house is a shocker?  Haven’t we learned anything from MTV CRIBS?

Hey check out this 50 Cent Crib!

Hey check out this 50 Cent Crib!

Hell yes this is well maintained!

Hell yes this is well maintained!


According the the article, when asked by police to come outside and speak to the cops, who received a report about “two black males with backpacks on the porch,” with one “wedging his shoulder into the door as if he was trying to force entry.”  Skip, allegedly, replied :

“Why, because I’m a black man in America?” Gates said, according to a police report written by Sgt. James Crowley.

Aww, geez, please tell me that Skip was not that stupid.  You don’t pull the race card until you’re in the handcuffs, Skip!  Skip???

Then Skipmeister really gets gully, allegedly…

Gates  initially refused to show the officer his identification, but then gave him a Harvard University ID card, according to police.

You got a permit to ride, boy?

You got a permit to ride, boy?

“Gates continued to yell at me, accusing me of racial bias and continued to tell me that I had not heard the last of him,” the officer wrote.

Gates said he turned over his driver’s license and Harvard ID — both with his photos — and repeatedly asked for the name and badge number of the officer, who refused. He said he then followed the officer as he left his house onto his front porch, where he was handcuffed in front of other officers

Oh, Skip, Skip, Skippy. Man, GOOD JOB on getting yourself arrested! You had Officer Friendly shook and on the run when you showed him your ID and asked for his name and badge number. I would have continued the discussion down at the police station with my lawyer later on but I’m not the one with the Harvard job and Ivy League mind. Why do things the logical way when you can parlay this mofo into at least three PBS specials?

From an article on ROOT.COM (a site that is run by Gates, btw)

This brief statement is being submitted (by Gates running partna, Charles Ogletree, I don’t know if he has a spiffy nickname like Skip) on behalf of my client, friend, and colleague, Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. This is a statement concerning the arrest of Professor Gates. On July 16, 2009, Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., 58, the Alphonse Fletcher University Professor of Harvard University, was headed from Logan airport to his home [in] Cambridge after spending a week in China, where he was filming his new PBS documentary entitled “Faces of America.”

Wow, here I was thinking that rappers only did stuff like this to promote their latest project.

A regular Keyzer Soze

A regular Keyzer Soze

Naw, these ain’t your average runaways.  These are the wrong negroes to f*ck with, as the Cambridge PD is about to find out, the hard way.

By the time those Harvard brainacs are through with the Cambridge PD, they will have to ask permission to walk past a black person’s house and Gates will have a two-book deal with Harper-Collins to go alone with the PBS specials.  This may have started off one way, but it’s sure gonna end another.

Well played, Dr. Gates.

auntgladysOh, Aunt Gladys!  You are so suspect of us black menz!

Mike Steele In The Hour Of Chaos, Part IV — MC Mikey Mike Causing A Hip Hop Storm

Mike Steele Creating A Hip Hop Storm

Mike Steele Creating A Hip Hop Storm

My feelings about hip hop as an art form can be best summed up in Common’s “I Used To Love H.E.R.” I don’t follow it much anymore, except to reminisce on my glory days as a battle rapper and to listen to the classics. I said that to say that once upon a time, hip hop was a revolutionary art form, becoming the voice of the voiceless. As much as the owner of this blog hates this saying at one time, hip hop was Black people’s CNN (as uttered by Chuck D). Now, of course, hip hop is Black people’s BET… and the circular logic behind that statement is too mind-boggling to try to unravel. So, I won’t.

This is about the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, one Michael Steele. It’s also about the Republican Party.

The Republican Party is in jeopardy. During the Presidential campaign, the Republican base revealed itself to be hateful, racist, and supremely ignorant. Did I mention hateful and racist? The Palin/McCain rallies could have easily been Stormfront rallies with all of the lovely sentiments like “TERRORIST” and “KILL HIM” oozing from their orifices. Since then, the Republican Party has been putting forth an image that it is trying to be the party with the big ideas, and the Big Tent Party of Inclusion. This led to the ascension of Michael Steele to the Chairmanship of the RNC. It has also led to great moments in comedy. I’ve commented on his greater moments of hilarity in Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 of my series, “Mike Steele In The Hour Of Chaos.” In Part 1, we discovered Mike Steele’s attempt to bring hip hop into the Republican Party. All of this brings us to Mike’s latest adventure, his latest quote, and his latest way of proving that the Republicans just don’t get it.

Mike finally follows up with his threat promise to reach out to the hip hop citizenry that’s dying for a Republican leader to take them to the Promised land. He plans to create a Hip Hop Storm, so that he can apply Republican principles to the urban/suburban settings of hip hop. And just how does Steele plan on creating this Hip Hop Storm? Why, I’ll let his words speak for themselves.

What it’s about right now is your health care, ability for you to run a small business and grow it to a major business. Defining wealth in America. What I like to call creating legacy wealth that is generational. Empowering you to put your kids in schools that actually educate them as opposed to dumb them down to go out and be, you know, not very productive members of society. So, you know, these are important conversations to have. I’ve just been struck by the fact that this president has not addressed those issues in a meaningful way, in the black community especially. So, I’m looking forward to doing that and causing a little hip-hop storm, if you will.

This would be comical if it weren’t so pathetic. Steele is failing because he believes that the only way to address issues in the Black community is to use hip hop. Yeah, because people would’ve never elevated Obama to the Presidency of the United States if it weren’t for the powerful grassroots efforts of hip hop… except that this is utter garbage. Political, or socially-conscious hip hop is so bereft of real voices in the mainstream that Kanye West’s blurb about George Bush not caring about Black people was seen as shocking, daring, and revolutionary in the vein of bombs dropped by Chuck D and Public Enemy. These days, what passes for revolutionary music in hip hop can be summed up with overrated songs like Jadakiss’ “Why” and the like. And don’t get me started on Puff Daddy’s retarded “Vote Or Die” campaign. So, without getting into any more specifics about the emptiness of thought-provoking music in hip hop, it’s safe to say that Hip Hop is far from being the “voice of the people” that it once was. Steele has already demonstrated that his grasp of hip hop is lacking, to say the least, and he has clearly stated that he is about as out of touch with mainstream Black people as most Republicans.

Steele has already proved how terrible he is at grasping the concept of using hip hop, when he was schooled by Stephen Colbert:

Now, he wants to try to “rap” his way into legitimacy, and he actually believes that this is the way to bring the moderates and independents to the Republican Party. If Mike wants to TRULY lead the Republican Party, and not be a mere figurehead kissing the ring of Don Rush Limbaugh, he must actively and repeated condemn the racist garbage spewed forth by the base. He must tell people like Patrick Buchanan, Dick Cheney and Sean Hannity to shut up, especially when they’re stating that Cheney makes a better example of the Republican Party than, say, Colin Powell. The silence from his ranks when Republicans are being bolder and bolder about their racism is deafening, and it is obvious that his attempts to bring minorities to the fold is mere lip service. For example, where was Steele when California Councilman Gary Frago sent racist e-mails to his staff and community members? (By the way, you can click on the link to see other examples of racism from the GOP, including the one with the President being depicted in picture as nothing but a pair of eyes in an all-black background)

There are some moderate Republicans, like Sophia Nelson, a Black woman who is Republican and conservative. However, she has gone on record condemning the racism from the Right, but her voice is marginalized while people like Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, etc ad nauseum. The voice of reason from the Right is now the fringe, and the hateful, racist, evangelical, hypocritical, holier-than-thou Palin-loving and Reagan-worshipping “fringe” is now considered “the base.” And who in their right mind would join a party where its de facto leader (Boss Limbaugh) says that he not only wants the President of the U.S. to fail, but that the only reason that one of the highest-profile African American Republicans voted for Obama was because he (Colin Powell) and Obama are both Black? Instead of trying to play Black people for fools, Steele should be asserting himself as the leader of the RNC, and demonstrating the ability to be (or at least recruit) a real voice of reason to speak for the GOP. Steele may speak in front of the NAACP, but he undermines what little credibility he has when he says that he’ll bring more Black people to the GOP by ladling out scoops of potato salad and handing out fried chicken.

Michael Steele is clearly demonstrating that he can’t even create a cloudy day, let alone a storm. He’s too busy being tossed aside by the storms of his own ineptitude as a leader and as a figurehead for real powerbrokers in his party, who probably long for (as Archie Bunker once put it) the “carefree days of slavery.”

Nia Long Said Beyonce Can’t Act…Oh No She Didn’t!

Actually, no, she didn’t.


“I didn’t see ‘Obsessed,’ so I can’t comment, but it’s just not about how talented you are anymore. It’s about, ‘How much box-office revenue will this person generate?’ When you see certain people – we won’t name names – they just don’t have the skill, and no one in their team has said, ‘You need acting classes,’” the former Love Jones star replied curtly in the August issue of Britain’s Pride Magazine.

Oh, yeah, it’s on.  She didn’t even have to say “you know who’s name”

the real obsessionJust mention that janky assed OBSESSION movie just once and Beyonce Fan is ever so PISSED and Tweetin’ their troubled little minds into a spastic orgasm of hateraid the size of Texas.

I’m not really worried about them dudes getting in a tizzy, but I am happy as a runaway slave that this will stop them from filling up YouTube with their troubling  renditions of SINGLE LADIES:

Please stop.

Please stop.

I’m not really scared of King & Queen of The House Of Dereon declaring war on Hollywood.

The Kang & Queen Of H.O.D.

The Kang & Queen Of H.O.D.

Then coming in, suing Katherine for full custody of Paris, Blanket and Scrappy Doo and pimping them out as Destiny’s Child II/The Empire Strikes Back.  Um, wait, wrong Gravy Train Parents.  My bad.

Naw, what scares me is that this one here

9331__440x600_solange_knowles_rainbowIs gonna put a “H” on her chest and HANDLE DAT BICH, Chokeadelphia style, Lord knows she’s already dressed…for something (another “winning” fashion from The House Of Dereon?)

I would much rather see some beatdown action, anything that will keep Solange from putting her verbal skills into play.   Nia don’t want none of that, the world don’t want none of that.

Jesus wept.

Anyway, Nia’s preaching to the choir.  She had more to say, of course:

She also goes on to say, “If you’re a singer not an actress, you should sing. If you’re a rapper, you should rap,” “If you take time to develop your craft, God bless you. Jamie Foxx is an example of both [actor and singer].”

(This interview must have taken place BEFORE The B.E.T. Awards…had to, just had to…)

Nothing scares me into hitting the crack pipe quick than the phrase “Rapper/Singer Turned Actor”.   Now there are exceptions to every rule.  Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Jr., Marky Mark (until Will Smith became Mr. 4th Of July, our best rapper turned actor was Marky Mark, well if you count SEVEN POUNDS and WILD WILD WEST, Marky Mark still is, whoops PLANET OF THE APES…nevermind)…but lately, whew!  Rappers and singers been funking up the big and little screen with their Cinematic halitosis.  You just try to watch Common in TERMINATOR: SALVATION for more than 30 seconds without wanting to go out on a date with Steve McNair’s Persian Honeydip.

Aunt GladysI’m sorry, Aunt Gladys!

And don’t get me started on this:


Hey, I tell you what Nia, we’ll send Beyonce and Common to acting class for life and you keep Cap’n Baby Wipes

terrence_howard.0.0.0x0.432x432…away from the recording studio.  Restraining order distance ain’t far enough, from Kansas City to Chicago isn’t far enough but that’ll do…for now.

P.S.:  Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that Nia Long does have valid points nor I am not trying to side with Beyonce or anything but I kinda laughed when she brought up Jamie Foxx as her main example of someone who’s honed their craft. Because, if I was Beyo, I would use your own words and flip them back on you:

Nia further added, “If you were able to take all the Black actresses and the choices we’ve made collectively, it’s a pure reflection of what you see on film. People need to work. But the content? The opportunities for Black actresses are more widespread today, but the quality has suffered.”

No sh*t.

held up

...Black Hollywood, you ain't helping, either

I know that it was the 20th Century but I still want my money back in 1999 dollars for watching this mess.  Oh, Black Hollywood, for every one finger point at someone, there are three point back at you…unless you got that weird 78 degree angle thing going on with your fingers like Denzel does.