R. Kelly To Write Memoirs — We Have Exclusive Leaked Excerpts

R&B R. Kelly is preparing to enter into a media realm.  As reported elsewhere, R. Kelly will be preparing to write his memoirs.  In a blockbuster Chubby Afro/Shut’cher Gobbige Mowf EXCLUSIVE, we have acquired leaked first drafts of some of this explosive tome.

R. Kelly (born Robert Sylvester Kelly) begins by telling the world what drew him to the cut-throat, lucrative, and intense business of being an entertainer:

Kelz and his humble beginnings

Very telling.  Very telling.

In this yet-untitled memoir, Kelly also explains the creative process behind his hit R&B opera, “Trapped In The Closet, Parts 1 through Infinity”:

Kelly details the intense creative process behind "Trapped In The Closet"

The piece-de-resistance of the leaked excerpts is next.  Finally free to speak his mind about the child pornography charges that have dogged him for years, Kelly uses his memoir to express exactly how that infamous night went down.  Kelly breaking his silence on this issue is incredible.  Simply incredible:

R. Kelly finally breaks his silence on the charges that he faced.

We expect that this memoir will set the literary world aflame.

Stay tuned, as we may have more exclusive excerpts in the near future.

Advertisements

3 comments

  1. Intellectual Hedonist · December 11, 2009

    LMAO…. BUAHAAAAAAA!!!!

  2. Turquoizblue · December 11, 2009

    High hilarity!!!!!!!!!! I almost peed too. Ha!

  3. matthew · December 17, 2009

    COM-O-DEE!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s