“a thing for black women” sounds just as creepy when white women say it, as it does when white men say it. who the hell wants to be reduced to a color?

I’m attracted most to dark hair, some people are attracted to dark skin, it’s just a physical feature they find attractive looking. It’s not that different from liking blondes more than brunettes, or having a thing for blue eyes. They’re not being “reduced” to an eye color or a haircolor either, it’s just a feature you like- I hardly think it’s racist, unless they’re saying “I ONLY date this one race”.

Perhaps we’ll just have to agree to disagree. I’ve had my share of people come on to me with this line, and what’s clear is that it is was never about ME, because they didn’t know me. As for hair color and eye color, I do think that’s somewhat different than when someone has a race fetish. Such a fetish can encompass so many things—some creepier than others. I’m thinking here about fetishes for Asian women because they are perceived to be submissive. A guy I know kept going through Japanese women because they weren’t living up to this cliché, but were in fact rather strong and assertive. To which he would reply, that they weren’t really Japanese.

Anytime an element of a person becomes a substitute for a person, something’s wrong. In that situation, I couldn’t be to surprised if I were replaced with a “better” version of the fetish I represent, because it was never about me anyway.

In any case, there are better ways to let someone know that you’re attracted to them without making them feel as if they simply belong to some group that turns you on. That wouldn’t make anyone feel special.


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