thehuskybro:

…from the Blind Date episode of The Bill Cosby Show, Season One (1969-70)

Black Man Elected President, Fried Chicken Madness Sweeps The Nation (not an The Onion story…seriously)

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings–Maya Angelou

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So do I, because It’s Scared It’s Going To Be Grilled And Become Part Of A Oprah Coupon Free KFC 2-Piece Meal.

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I don’t think that Rod Serling could have imagined this s*it.

When Barack Obama became the President Of The United States, I knew that we were entering an new era in America.   The Sun would start shining again.  You wouldn’t automatically duck if somebody said “Look, there’s an American,” in a crowed room.  You could feel good about yourself once again.  Even Uncle Ben got a new job:

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Of all the things that I thought would occur, it never crossed my mind that folks would start coming out the closet and start doing the Running Man and busting out the RoboCop over Fried Chicken.

Seriously.  I know that Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream that included black folks dancing for KFC Chicken.  Jesus wept.  Take what little money you have left in your 401k and buy as much KFC and Popeye’s stock as you can!

It all started after the election with the first of the Obama Fried Chicken joints

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Hell, I expected this, everybody expected this.  You just KNEW that somebody was going to go there.  You KNEW that someone was going to be THAT fool.  “We got a black man in the White House now, time to make the chicken wings!”

Then came Earth Day.

The masterminds over at Popeye’s Corporate had a thought, “What is the first thing you think of when you think of saving the Environment?  Reducing burning coal emissions?  Switching from fossil fuel to natural gas?  Driving a hybrid car?  Ooh, I know, A $4.99 8-piece Special!”

You know, there are some days I just don’t want to get out of bed.   This was one of those days.

I didn’t even know that there were this many black people in Minnesota.  Nobody knew that there were that many black people in Minnesota.   Just Kirby Puckett (R.I.P.),  Chuck Foreman and Prince.  Yet, somebody says “Popeye’s having a 8-piece special” and it’s like somebody left a bag of crack and half a bottle of Jack Daniels on the kitchen table at Dr. Drew’s Sober House and when Gary Busey and Rodney King got a hold of the stuff, it turned out to be a bag of sugar cubes and half a bottle of Earl Grey tea.  Hell, yes, people are mad and tempers are flaring.

Negroes came out of  Witness Protection (seriously how can you explain this many black folks in Minnesota?) and drove in from all over the state to get them some on sale chicken and when they get there, Popeye’s ain’t even running the sale?  Do you know how hard it is to drive around 10,000 lakes? Do you know how hard it is to get a decently fried drumstick this close to Fargo?   And you don’t even have a frackin’ sale?  Damn, damn, damn!  This is a outrage, I’m calling my Minnesota Senator….oh, right.

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Well, when they finally get a Senator, that phone will be a ringing with some outraged Minnesotans(?)  Um, can I get a 10-piece while I’m here?

Anyway…

Now The Mighty Oprah is getting in on Chicken Mania:

The Oprah Winfrey Show/Kentucky Grilled Chicken Two-Piece Meal Coupon
Get two pieces of grilled chicken, two individual sides and a biscuit!
Limited Time Download
Coupon download available from 9 a.m. CDT on May 5, 2009, to 9:59 p.m. CDT on May 6, 2009. Coupon is redeemable at participating KFC® locations in the United States from May 5, 2009 to May 19, 2009—excluding Mother’s Day, May 10, 2009.
Go to UnthinKFC.com and download your coupon!
Due to heavy demand, you may experience some slowness navigating to the website. Please be patient and try again later.

http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090430-tows-kfc-coupon-download

Heavy demand is right.  Those chicken craving fiends from Minneapolis-St. Paul will probably force the website to shut down.

I knew the economy was bad, but Oprah has gone from giving away cars (Pontiacs if I recall.  Now Pontiac is gone, thanks, Oprah, thanks for NOTHING!)

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to pimping 2 piece grilled chicken meals?  You get a wing!  You get a wing!  Yooou get a wing!!!!!

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“It’s all about the joy that I can give to you all…sponsored of course so that not a single dime comes up out of my pocket.  Yes, that means, you will be paying the taxes on that meal.  BON APPETITE!”

Wait, excluding Mother’s Day? The Oprah Grilled Chicken Coupons aren’t valid on Black America’s Cinco De Mayo?  Those gutless bastards! How did they know that’s what I was gonna get Mom?  Since Oprah and KFC are putting restrictions on Mother’s Day gifts, I have to go to plan B.

I can just hop into the Wayback Machine, go to 1935 and get her that vintage stove she’s always wanted:

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What the hell?  Say…that looks familiar…where have I seen a smiling Negro holding a drumstick recently?

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Clutch the pearls!

Interesting, they were using Coonin’ Negroes and Chicken to sell products back in the day.  And they’re doing the same thing in the 21st Century?  I am depressed.  Two steps forwards, three steps back.

This is the kind of mess that Bill Cosby was talking about!  Black people are soooo pitiful!  Why you would never see Bill Cosby dancing and singing about something like fried chicken.  Hells no!

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