Upfronts 2013


My initial thoughts on the new NBC shows is as follows:

  • The Blacklist: looks pretty damn good.  I’m resisting saying that the rookie agent who the criminal mastermind insists that he will only work with is some long lost daughter…maybe she’s his younger female clone, duh!
  • Ironside: Wow, it’s going to take a lot for me to get used to Mark Sanger in that chair (if you get that reference, then you’re as old as me, welcome to AARP Tumblr, bitch!).  The all new Ironside is Blair Underwood (with that motherfucking smoldering ass voice, I hate his ass) now has sex appeal (I don’t know what they talking about, Ironside ALWAYS had sex appeal, Raymond Burr could have totally got it!).  Now Ironside is in NYC instead of classy San Francisco in the original series.  So much for sex appeal. 
  • Sean Saves The World: Some people want to watch the world burn, some of those people obviously work at NBC and selected this nonsense for their fall schedule.  Horrible. I couldn’t get through the preview, seriously NBC, you cancelled Go On and somehow green lit this pile of projectile vomit? Easily the worst of this bunch and, from the looks of that trailer, the worst TV show this side of Homeboys From Outer Space.  Damn, Gina. image
  • Welcome To The Family: Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, Pregnant: The Latino Remix Meets Modern Family. Lame. Only reason I think this has a shot is because the cast, led by Mike O’Malley, Ricardo Chavira, Justina Machado and Mary McCormack, is outstanding and could overcome the “you can see them coming from outer space like large meteors” plots.
  • Dracula: This thing had Downton Abbey reeking all over it from the first second of the preview.  Guess who’s behind this?  Combined with the dude who made Henry VIII sexumal (is that a word?  Like you care, you’re already in thrall of Jonathan Rhys Meyers.  Me?  I see that Drac’s sidekick, Renfeld is now a sidekick Negro, thanks Affirmative Action! Wee.  No lie, he reminded me of Desmond Pfeifferthat ain’t a good look, yo.
  • The Michael J. Fox Show:  I love MJF so much that I used initials instead of his name.  Yeah, he got it like that. Glad to see he’s back on TV in a regular series, he’s been killin’ it in various guest spots on other shows for years since he scaled back on the work since he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  In this show, he plays up his illness for comic effect (you know some assholes will have a problem with that, eh, fuck them, let MJF be great, motherfuckers, eat candied shit, tricks).  But I can understand the hesitation to laugh at such situations, PC Assimilation being the bullshit that it is but you will be laughing by the end of the preview for the show, trust me kids.  (Sidebar:  Wendell Pierce is in the cast for the show.  I dare not call him a sidekick Negro.  Dude will kick my ass, I’ve read too many of this tweets and he yelled at me in one of them, he didn’t call me an asshole but he might as well done it.  You ain’t lived life until Bunk Moreland has shown his disgust of you in a tweet.  What was it about?  Oh, something I said about the New Orleans Saints, Pierce’s favorite team.  I was actually giving the Saints props and he shit all over my comments lol.  Fucking Saints fans, they win one damn Super Bowl and they think they’re Jesus. Um.  what was the question?)

so i peeped NBC’s fall lineup


And I was surprised to see this: 

Now we all know the collective consensus on Ms. Meagan Good as an actress. With the exception of her roles in Friday and Cousin Skeeter, she’s always been the hot sidekick/chick or loose goose. But it seems marriage and a little competition from ABC (hey Scandal) has brought a new, actually solid role to the forefront. Good stars as a cop who decides to infiltrate a rich family undercover to solve a friends murder. Has the potential of Revenge but with better acting chops. Vinctor Garber and Laz Alonso co-star as well.

And then I also saw THIS

Yes. Yes, that’s legend Phylicia Rashad on Do No Harm which looks like a real-life Dr. Jeykell/Mr. Hyde drama as it’s main character has to fight with his murderous split personality. 

TV is about to be very interesting and these two shows are on my watch along with American Horror Story’s return in October.

Well, couple this with this, which occurred on the last episode of The Office of the season:

Negroes on NBC that arent Coonin’?

I’m speechless!

Pop Culture Nerd Alert/If You Like That, Then Try This

Disclaimer: Yes, I am a nerd. I’ve always been a pop-culture, TV show loving nerd and I’m okay with that.

Yeah, I know, shocker, huh?

Now that I’m out the closet, time to get my nerd on with some TV show “if you like that, then try this”.

VOYAGERS! (NBC 1982-83)—Compare to DOCTOR WHO, THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO (Kinda-Sorta, I’ll explain later)
Adventure series starring the late Jon-Erik Hexum and Meeno Puluse.  When Time Traveler Phineas Bogg (Hexum) accidentally crashes in Jeffery Jones (Puluse) bedroom the two team up to, as Bogg would say in the intro of each episode;

We travel through time to help history along. Give it a push when it’s needed. When the Omni’s Red it means history’s wrong. Our job is to get everything back on track“.

Each episode would find the two landing in random points in time, using the Omni, a time traveling device, and correcting whatever problem that cause the Omni to flash red.  Once it was green again, they were off to the next adventure.  This series borrowed tremendously from DOCTOR WHO (especially with The Omni, that usually looked like a pocket watch but could, like The TARDIS, could be disguised to fit in its surroundings) and was possibly an inspiration for QUANTUM LEAP (Each Omni was either fixed so they could either go to a certain point in time, Bogg’s was fixed so it could only go as far as 1970, for example.  Quantum Leap’s time traveler Sam Beckett time-traveling was only limited to when he was born to the year 1999, with a rare instance when he time-leaped into the body of one of his desendents during the American Civil War…hey, I told you, I’m a TV show nerd like that).

The tie-in to the 80s superhero classic, THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO?  Both show’s main characters had to operate without their instruction manuals.  On The Greatest…Ralph Hinkley wears this alien unitard that gives him all kinds of wonderful powers and a sort of instruction guide that Ralph loses in the first episode and thus he has to learn how to use the suit the hard way…hijinks ensue.  On Voyagers!  Bogg and all other Voyagers carry a Guidebook, a glorified history book, that tells them the way time should be if they need to correct…well, that was explained earlier.  His Guidebook is taken from him by Jeffrey’s dog, Ralph, which happens to be the first name of the main character on TGAM.

Voyagers! was created by James D. Parriott, who would go on to create numerous TV shows, most notably cult classics MISFITS OF SCIENCE and FOREVER KNIGHT.  I loved those shows, man!

Puluse’s half-sister, Soliel Moon-Frye, had a somewhat better run on NBC (and later in syndication) in the kid friendly comedy, PUNKY BREWSTER.


Voyagers! Opening theme

On The Bandwagon/Gospel Hill

008GLH_Nia_Long_002So I was doing what the “hip and trendy” folx call “channel surfing” the other day when I came across the scene up above.  Nia Long and Adam Baldwin “making out”

sidebar: The Little Woman HATES when I say “making out”, she says it “confuses people” and it makes me sound like “I hang out with Fonzie”.  I say, “I have no problem with that,  for it would be so cool, ayyy!

fonzieSo, Adam Baldwin and Nia Long were “making out” and this seemed so random so I had to find out what was going on.

Turns out, I had come across a scene from the movie GOSPEL HILL.


Gospel Hill is the name of the black neighborhood, in the southern town of Julia, that’s being torn down to make way for the ultimate gentrification, a golf course.

One of the main supporters of the golf course is one of the leading sellouts black leaders in town,  Dr. Ron Palmer (Giancarlo Esposito), who runs the emergency clinic in Gospel Hill.

Julia is a town where this kind of conflict between black and white has a tragic past.  Back in the day, 40 years ago to be exact, a local black civil rights activist Peter Malcolm (Samuel Jackson) was assassinated.

In the present, Malcolm’s son, John (Danny Glover), maintains a low profile that he established after his father’s death.  John still feels animosity towards the ex-sheriff, Jack Herrod (Tom Bower). Herrod, the classic “I hates you darkies” type, drug his feet during the “investigation” of Peter Malcolm’s murder and, of course, nobody was charged.  I guess that Peter assinated himself?

Herrod has two sons.  His oldest son, Carl (Adam Baldwin) is fulfilling his “Jungle Fever” fantasies with Dr. Palmer’s mm-mm-good looking, hot thang, bootylicious trophy wifey (Nia Long).  While Carl tends to Dr. Palmer’s “secret garden”;

his younger brother, Joel (Taylor Kitsch), is a landscaper who works for  Dr. Palmer.  Joel hires Lonnie (The Rza) to help him out.

Sarah Malcolm (Angela Bassett), John’s wife, isn’t too pleased about her hood being turned into a “bastion of whiteness”, so she challenges the house negro Dr. Palmer, who she thinks is all about getting paid (have you seen his wife?  Hello? Keeping her satisfied has got to be high matenance) and she wants to out him as the carpetbagger that he is.

Oh, there’s a liberal school marm, Rosie (Julia Stiles), straight from the DANGEROUS MINDS/FREEDOM WRITES Teacher’s mold.   Joel falls in love with Rose, I suspect, because he’s probably bedded down every woman in town, twice and is naturally inticed by that which has yet to be mounted conquered.

Joel's way of keeping count of the ladies...

Joel's way of keeping count of the ladies...

The block gets hot as Dr. Palmer goes around and buying out all the poor Negroes on Gospel Hill and trying to fight off Sarah, who really ain’t having it at all.  Sarah tries to get John to come out of self-imposed exile (hell, I would be on the down-low myself if somebody shot my dad and the po-po acted like it didn’t happen, cut the man some slack, Sarah!).  Joel has to deal with his dad, who he doesn’t really like because of that whole “I hates darkies” thing plus having to hear it from his super-duper liberal girlfriend, Rose, who’s, of course, now hanging out with Sarah and letting her fill her head with her “left-wing agenda” jibba-jabba.

sidebar: The only thing missing from the Rose scenes is Coolio singing GANGSTA’S PARADISE

Jack finds out that he’s terminally ill and deciding that burning in Hell for all eternity does not seem like a fun vacation, re-opens the Peter Malcolm murder investigation.  At the same time, John realizes that he can’t ignore his father’s legacy anymore (partially because his wife is making him feel more and more like a chump by fighting the good fight that he should be and letting him know about it every chance she gets).

Gospel Hill was one of those film festival casulties (failed to find a big screen distributer) that went straight to DVD and, fortunately, to one of the movie channels (Showtime/Starz).  To be honest, I don’t know why it didn’t get the big screen treatment.  The film was directed by veteran character actor Giancarlo Esposito (Dr. Palmer in the film) who’s most famous role, to me anyways, is Buggin’ Out from DO THE RIGHT THING.

BUGGIN' OUTThe cast is top shelf.  For me, seeing Buggin’ Out, Tim Riggins, Roger Murtaugh, Tina Turner, Nicky Parsons, Brandi, Jayne Cobb, The RZA, all in one movie?  It’s a pop culture orgasm!

Hell, NBC should have found someway to get this to the big screen, if for no other reason, to promote some of their programming.  Three of the actors in the film were cast regulars on NBC shows in 2008-09 (Baldwin/CHUCK, Bassett/E.R. and Kitsch/FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS).  Spend a few more bucks to promote the film and it would have EASILY regained the estimated 6 million American dollars that it took to make the film the first week alone.

I guess that, nowadays, if Tyler Perry isn’t involved in a black movie, it ain’t gonna get that big push.

sidebar: That wasn’t a diss on Perry.  It’s more of one on Hollywood, who still refuses to see that black cinema is just as diverse and layered as any other genre.  It doesn’t all have to be one extreme or the other.

Having said that, I will admit that Gospel Hill isn’t a great film.  It’s barely a good film, but it is good.  For a film about race from an actor who’s best known role was one that was about as racial as one could get:

the racial aspects of Gospel Hill are almost mundane by comparison.  Perhaps it was the laid back (and realistic) approach that was the thing that kept the film from getting a wider distribution.   Whatever the reason, don’t let the straight to video nature of the film keep you away.  It’s well acted, even when the script fails, at times, to keep up with the performances.   I wouldn’t have been disappointed had I paid to see it at the movie theater and I don’t think to many others would have been either, except those who may have showed up to see Taylor Kitsch take off his shirt.  You can’t please ’em all.

I certainly hope that Esposito gets more chances behind the camera and more films from “Gospel Hill” side of town get made.

Gospel Hill

This Is…#3/Black Women On Television

This week I saw two performances from two Black actresses. One I cheered for and the other, I just shook my head and gave her the Gas Face.

Lydia Adams, I cheered for. This is more of what black women should be like on Network TV. Strong, intelligent, sexual without crossing over into that stereotypical “chocolate fantasy/sex beast” realm. Like Like SOUTHLANDs Adams (Regina King).


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more about “SOUTHLAND’s Lydia Adams“, posted with vodpod

Adams is quiet and compassionate but those traits does not just make her the glorified den mother type, they enhance her overall presence. She is opinionated and doesn’t back down from what she feels is right. Yet she does it in a manner that doesn’t render her sterotypical, quite the opposite.  Allow me to blunt, the sista is cold.
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more about “Hulu – Southland: Profile: Lydia Adams“, posted with vodpod

GLEEs Mercedes Jones (Amber Riley) is the perfect example of the kind of black woman that has become tired. The loud, sassy, blowhard walking caracture that has been a staple of American Pop Culture since Mammy started mopping floors at Tara in GONE WITH THE WIND. It’s very telling that we see far more black women like Mercedes Jones on television than we do Lydia Adams.

Jones is the opposite of Adams in many ways, the most telling, the way that she presents herself.   She’s in Diva mode from the first moment you see her and her MTAM (Much Talked About Momemt©) when she declairs, in full “Hells To Tha Naw” mode,  that “I am Beyonce, not Kelly Rowland!”  (I’m pretty sure that somebody has probably printed out thousands of T-shirts with that line on them).  The line is delivered with all the standards of the loud, diva-ish sterotype, The Black Woman’s Neck ®with The It’s The Read! Finger Shake™.  Did I mention that the first time we see our “hero” she’s singing Aretha Franklin’s RESPECT as if she’s a dog marking her territory, letting all who come near her know that “I’m not the one to be messed with!”

Easy now, star…


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more about “GLEE’s Mercedes Jones“, posted with vodpod

In Adams, you see the progression of the Black Female on American Television, Julia and Christie Love would be proud (and she kicks ass and does the body count later).  Mercedes Jones, however, is the classic, “two steps forward, three steps back” character. JJ Evans would find her DYN-O-MITE!

Both actresses are great at what they do, you can tell that Riley does have potential, yet she has to waste it in the typical stock black role, something that King knows about all too well herself:


Back in the day, there weren’t many options for black American actresses, you were either a maid, a slave, a prostitute or a singer in a cameo.  It was either that or you didn’t work.  Here we are in 2009 and some of sistas are still settling for demeaning, subpar roles.  I know you have to get that work where you can, especially in this economy but I know that many a black women are tired of seeing the same ol’  same ol’.

Another TV Show Cancelled Before It Could Do Anything? It Must Be Monday…


– The Unusuals has been canceled.

link via Pop Candy

Although I wanted to check this show out, I didn’t even bother to watch one episode.

Why bother? The networks really don’t care if I watch at all because I don’t fall in that “17-34” demographic or because their “Q” ratings didn’t score high enough or whatever it is they’re looking for.

I am tired of getting invested in a program only to see it either moved around the schedule so much that you need to attach a Lo-jack on the mofo to keep track of it, yanked off the air with no resolution, pimped out like FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS or constantly have the Sword Of Cancellation hanging over its head ala DOLLHOUSE and CHUCK, only to be renewed if there are cast reductions, writers eliminated, only two types of sodas to choose from and, oh, yes, you have to bring in your own eating utensils…and your own food.

Or, even worse, canceled before Christmas and the remaining episodes thrown out there as filler after Memorial Day ala DIRTY SEXY MONEY, ELI STONE and PUSHING DAISIES.

As much as I liked those shows, I won’t give ABC the satisfaction of my time to watch the remainder of them. Not that they would care anyway.

Good shows deserve better than this. We the viewers deserve better than this. Instead, we get teased with commericals for the new shows being BREAKOUT HITS!  THE HIGHEST RATED NEW SHOW OF THE SEASON, TELEVISON DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS…etc…etc…etc… only suffer and watch and be unable to do a thing as your show is held hostage by that soul sucking Nielsen Family all season long.  Then comes the news that those bastards took your ratings yet they still killed your show.  That sucks, dude.  I’m tired of that game, it’s time to be movin’ on.

Now if you will excuse me, I’ll be over at BBC America waiting for series 2 of GAVIN & STACEY or catching up on MISTRESSES before some schmuck at one of the American networks attempt to Americanize the shows and screw that up.

No…I’m not bitter.

Wait, What? It's STILL on the air?  Oh, My Sweet Lord...Really????

Wait, What? It's STILL on the air? Oh, My Sweet Lord...Really????




ABC cancels SAMANTHA WHO? Why?  Because they couldn’t justify spending money on a show that better than ACCORDING TO JIM.  Duh.

...let this be a lesson, kids, always striving to be better isn't always a good thing, especially for ABC sitcoms.

...let this be a lesson, kids, always striving to be better isn't always a good thing, especially for ABC sitcoms.