I love Hip-Hop with exceptions…
as a music genre, love it
as the defining factor of Black American Culture…no
as the spokesperson(s) for Black America…no
Let’s be real, (no not B-Real from Cypress Hill) Black America is much, much, MUCH more than Hip-Hop. To say that it isn’t? Well that’s very white of you, very narrow-minded of you, very wrong of you.
“…thinking of a master plan/
it ain’t nothin’ but sweat inside my hand…”
— The great Rakim, “Paid In Full”
Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. On the one hand, I want you to stop being such a disaster. But on the other hand, you stumbling over yourself gives me so much joy that the Surgeon General will deem your failures to be high in cholesterol. It’s bad enough that your plan to “hip-hopify” the GOP continues to be the source of great comedic material. It’s bad enough when a pin-striped hoodie-wearing Stephen Colbert schools you, as we can see here:
What makes your epic failure more and more enjoyable? Why, I’ll let Steele’s own words speak for him:
I’m very introspective about things. I’m a cause-and-effect kind of guy. So if I do something, there’s a reason for it… It may look like a mistake, a gaffe. There is a rationale, there is a logic behind it… I want to see what the landscape looks like. I want to see who yells the loudest. I want to know who says they’re with me but really isn’t.”
“It helps me understand my position on the chess board. It helps me understand, where, you know, the enemy camp is and where those who are inside the tent are …It’s all strategic.”
Yes, dear readers… Steele said that his calling Rush Limbaugh “incendiary” and “ugly” were all part of a master plan. A master plan that included Steele trying to assert himself as the leader of his party, only to have the de facto leader remind him that he’s a stooge that should be seen and not heard… Pee Wee Herman said it best when he said “I meant to do that!” The sad thing (and by sad, I mean “ridiculously hilarious”) is that I think that Steele is SERIOUS. He did all of this to “test the waters” and to see who’s with him and who isn’t. Oh, one more thing. He talks about his position on the chess board and understanding where the enemy camp is. He hasn’t even made it to the chess board. Or the checkerboard. At BEST, Steele is one of those little pellets that Pac Man Limbaugh (hey, I like that!) devours in his quest to become a real-life Jabba The Glut. Steele isn’t even one of those power pellets that make the ghosts turn blue… he’s just one thousands of snacks for the real power brokers in the Republican Party.
This is Steele’s plan for a strategy… try to assert yourself as the leader of your party, because, you know, you were elected to do that. Call out the venomous hate-mongering bloviations of a hillbilly-heroin addicted waste of protoplasm. Listen to said protoplasm put you in your place and tell you to dance. You dance, and kick your heels up in ways that would make Shaolin monks and Rockettes green with envy. Then, announce that it was ALL PART OF YOUR MASTER PLAN. Great. It’s a good thing that you’re not the Commander-In-Chief. With this sort of strategy, you’d declare war on Iran by bombing Canada and then sending Green Berets and Navy Seals to Haiti… and then tell the dead Canadians and Haitians that it was all part of your master plan to weed out the real terrorists. It’s a good thing that you’d never even CONSIDER running for President, because it would be a disasterbacle of biblical proportions. Why, it would be…
** whisper whisper **
Say what now?
** whisper whisper 2012 whisper **
Oh. He IS open to running for President, but “only if that is where God wants (him) to be at that time.” Wonderful.
The only thing that a Steele run for the Presidency would do is that it would provide endless amounts of comedy. The primaries ALONE would be worth it, to watch the wolves tear each other apart (picture Piyush “Bobby Brady” Jindal v. Steele v. Palin in a Coultergeist/Limbaugh/Hannity-moderated debate, if you will…and if such a concentration of hatred doesn’t try to rip your soul apart first).
So there we have it… the next time Steele seems to open feet and insert mouth, don’t think of it as a gaffe or a screw-up. Think of it as a master stroke of genius, where Steele’s idiotic comment of today becomes the brilliant strategy of tomorrow. He is planning to stumble, butt-over-teakettle, into the White House… and he’ll do it Hip hop style, yo.
“You see, my friends, Character matters; leadership descends from character. I only had to show him the whip, I didn’t even have to hit him with it.”
Ise’s powerful sorry, boss! Please put dat whip away, boss!
Part 2 of an ongoing series, “Mike Steele In The Hour of Chaos”… heh…
Pardon me, but I’m having way too much fun enjoying the Republican Party’s circular firing squad open fire on each other. In a brief moment of leadership, RNC Chairman tried to wander off the plantation and actually declare that he, not Rush Limbaugh, is the de facto leader of the Republican Party. In an interview with DL Hughley (on Hughley’s CNN show – which has been bad, from little I’ve seen… but this particular episode featured Public Enemy’s Chuck D), Steele seemed to have grown a pair when he said:
“I’m the de facto leader of the Republican Party…”
He went on to say that Limbaugh’s show is “incendiary” and “ugly”, and that Rush was a mere entertainer.
Well, Rush didn’t take it too well that one of his boys got downright uppity. Rush responded by saying this:
“So I am an entertainer and I have 20 million listeners because of my great song and dance routine… Michael Steele, you are head of the Republican National Committee. You are not head of the Republican party. Tens of millions of conservatives and Republicans have nothing to do with the Republican National Committee…and when you call them asking for money, they hang up on you.”
…my sentiments exactly…
Here is Steele’s first chance to assert himself as the leader of the Republican Party, in name and in deed. Here is his chance to begin to reclaim the party, and rescue it from the neanderthals, the miscreants, the racists, and the troglodytes. Here is his chance to prove that the Republican Party is ready for a change, and ready to act in the best interests of the country, and not rely on petty partisan crapola. RNC Chairman Michael Steele, the floor is yours.
My intent was not to go after Rush – I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh,” Steele said in a telephone interview. “I was maybe a little bit inarticulate. … There was no attempt on my part to diminish his voice or his leadership.”
Oh Mikey… Epic Fail on your part… falling on your face like that…
Steele goes on to say:
“I went back at that tape and I realized words that I said weren’t what I was thinking… It was one of those things where I thinking I was saying one thing, and it came out differently. What I was trying to say was a lot of people … want to make Rush the scapegoat, the bogeyman, and he’s not.”
“I’m not going to engage these guys and sit back and provide them the popcorn for a fight between me and Rush Limbaugh …No such thing is going to happen. … I wasn’t trying to slam him or anything.”
“He brings a very important message to the American people to wake up and pay attention to what the administration is doing …Number two, there are those out there who want to look at what he’s saying as incendiary and divisive and ugly. That’s what I was trying to say. It didn’t come out that way. … He does what he does best, which is provoke: He provokes thought, he provokes the left. And they’re clearly the ones who are most excited about him.”
Asked if he planned to apologize, Steele said: “I wasn’t trying to offend anybody. So, yeah, if he’s offended, I’d say: Look, I’m not in the business of hurting people’s feelings here. … My job is to try to bring us all together.”
And there it is. When Steele dares to wander too far from the plantation, we can count on Rush to execute his St. Ronald of Reagan Pimp Hand, to get Steele back into line. Make that money for Big Daddy Rush, Mikey… make that money. And don’t let Rush catch you on some reckless eyeballin’… the GOPimp Hand will be back to remind you of your place.
Now… dance, boy.