The first Sunday in November 2008 in Cleveland
It’s Good Friday and in this time of turmoil and motherf*ckers just straight trippin’, I want to send some love out to my fellow Americans, specifically, some of my favorite Americans right now, The Tea-baggers Teat Tea Party Movement family.
Y’all some hatin’ arsed, rabid, cat s*it on a helicopter windshield crazy fools but we do all have at least one thing in common (not counting our slave owning/slave raping ancestors), we’re all Americans….yeah, that’s right, we’re all in the same gang, suckas.
So what better way to show my fellow countrymen some hot, tasty love than to celebrate this great country AND give a shout out to one of the greatest R&B singers ever, on what would have been his 71st Born-On Date, Marvin Gaye?
Sing it Marvin….
CHECK THIS OUT
A more traditional version of The Star Spangled Banner sung by Marvin Gaye (and getting much love from the late great Howard Cosell himself!)
…beware the Ides Of September…
I must have seen about 25 mostly simular variations on this very joke since yesterday afternoon. Y’all can stop telling it now. Yeah, it was funny but between Facebook and Twitter, man, everybody’s done heard it within 10 minutes of the first time you said it.
Speaking of Kanye, that bastion of morals, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY (yeah, I’m being sarcastic) ponders if Jay Leno went too far when he asked Kanye what would his late mother would have said about his act-a-drunken-fool moment at Taylor “Tay-Tay” Swift’s expense at the VMAs the other night. If Kanye’s mom was anything like my moms (hell, practically anybody’s mom, including Tay-Tay’s) she would have ripped into him like it was Shark Week:
“Go sit your black ass down somewhere because I didn’t raise no damn disrespectful idiot. You acting even worse than your cousins from Tampa when they stole those pork ribs right off the grill at the family reunion that time…yes, you acting ghetto as hell, boy! And, while I’m here, when you getting married, huh? And what’s the deal with that heffa you be hanging out with lately?
Stand down, Gladys, I got this…Is her mama still alive? What’s wrong with her eyes? She look like a stunt double from Salem’s Lot.
Everytime I see you two, you either going in or coming out of a department store. That girl is like fixing an air conditioner in the penthouse suite in Trump Tower, high maintenance, boy. You need all the money you can get to keep that bedussy on your arm and you gonna go messing that up by running up on a white teenager on national TV. Is you crazy? Fool, you had me sweating worse than the last hot link in Al Sharpton’s refrigerator. We done over come but we ain’t over that much you can bum rush some teenaged country singer like that. I don’t care how drunk you was, you ain’t never too drunk to get your ass hung.”
Okay, you get the point.
I guess now West is going to take time off to put his ish together. Whatever.
Kanye, dude, do us all a favor, stop blaming your moms dying for you acting a fool so much, you were doing some of that ish before she past away and until folks started booin’ dat ass, you were cool with running around doing stupid s*it and being a silly dick.
I recall when Prince was doing his trippin’ back in the day and doing dumb s*it like becoming THE ARTIST FORMALLY KNOWN AS PRINCE.
That lasted until THE CHECKING ACCOUNT FORMALLY KNOWN AS FULL. It’s amazing how quick folks will get with the program once them wallets start taking hits. All that booing and hissing at Kanye got his ass now wanting to chill for a sec. Indeed. That’ll do, pig, that’ll do.
Same dress, huh. Who wore it better? Well…Hips Don’t Lie. All jokes aside, somebody’s stylist is going to die for not running a check to see who was wearing what.
Congress is debating whether Joe Wilson should be “scolded” for loud talking the President Of The United States last week.
*sidebar* When does “off the record” not mean “off the record”? When you’re the President Of The United States, silly!
The President called the rapper (Kanye West) “a jackass” in an off-the-record comment during a CNBC interview yesterday, but the comment became public when it was tweeted by ABC’s Terry Moran on Twitter, Politico.com reported Monday night.
An ABC statement explains: “ABC News employees prematurely tweeted a portion of those remarks that turned out to be from an off-the-record portion of the interview.”
Back to Massa Joe Wilson; I don’t know what’s to debate, he needs more than a “stern” talking to. I know some folks who could give a proper attitude adjustment:
Finally, the trailer of my favorite Patrick Swayze movie (no it isn’t TO WONG FOO, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! JULIE NEWMAR not that there’s anything wrong with that…)
“We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems,” Obama said. “If you don’t do that — if you quit on school — you’re not just quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on your country.”–Adolph Hitler President Barack Obama
Oh, sweet Mother Of God, the man is trying to warp our kids minds! Somebody, this man is a menace! He’s trying to get after the children! Somebody, please THINK ABOUT THE KIDS!!!!! AIEEEEE!
Yeah, Red States, that sure does sound like the President is attempting to brain wash your kids into joining the Nazi Youth Party or something…not.
My country tis of thee! It’s really getting ridiculous when the Leader Of The Free World is being profiled as some kind of “bad man” who’s out to pollute the minds of our youth. If you can’t trust your kids with the President Of The United States Of America, then we are in serious trouble.
And don’t let me pull THE RACE CARD on the idiots. Let’s not go there, even though this may have more to do with the speech than anything else, right. Oh you say “socialism” but us old school Negroes know that ain’t nothing but code for “black”. That’s another story for another day.
Right now, will you look at this “bullsh*t” that he’s trying to feed our yutes?
But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.
Yeah, you little mofos, go grab a kitchen knife when you get home, stab your parents and snatch their credit cards and charge them to the max!
— Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide.
Damn straight you have something you’re good at kids; XBOX 360, PLAYSTATION3 and, for you pussies out there, NITENDO WII. Totally ignore what the well-spoken black man is trying to hip you to, you just keep on being the ignorant clusterfu*ks that you are, you know, just like your parents. Aim for the minimum wage!
— And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You’re going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can’t drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You’ve got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.
Yeah, you spastic twats, don’t think you can coast through school and right on in to that lifetime gig at UPS without an high school diploma.
It’s just HORRIBLE what the President is trying to pull, the sneaky son of a bitch. Don’t let his “positive” speech, fool you, kids, that lying, two-faced motherf*cker is up to something. Ask your parents, you can’t trust anything the man says.
Having said all this, I am going to give the Red State folx the benefit of the doubt and assume that they don’t trust the current President because the last two Presidents of the United States did some lying themselves:
Now, I have to go back to work on my State of the Union speech. And I worked on it until pretty late last night. But I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me. I’m going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you–The Teflon President Bill Clinton, January 1998
As you know, in a deposition in January, I was asked questions about my relationship with Monica Lewinsky. While my answers were legally accurate, I did not volunteer information.
Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms. Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible.–Slick Willy, August 1998 (Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the White House that night when he got home to face Hillary)
We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories. You remember when Colin Powell stood up in front of the world, and he said, Iraq has got laboratories, mobile labs to build biological weapons. They’re illegal. They’re against the United Nations resolutions, and we’ve so far discovered two. And we’ll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven’t found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they’re wrong, we found them.–President Bush, May 2003
Now, look, I — part of the reason we went into Iraq was — the main reason we went into Iraq at the time was we thought he had weapons of mass destruction. It turns out he didn’t, but he had the capacity to make weapons of mass destruction…—Why you Lying Sack O’ Sh*t President Bush, August 2006
Well, when you put it that way, I can understand a little mistrust but the current President is ONLY telling your stupid assed kids to STAY IN SCHOOL. Not how to freebase crack…
Vodpod videos no longer available.
I honestly think, for some idiots out there, having a crackhead speak to their kids would be more acceptable than a Ivy League educated (not some drunk goofball who only got in because of his daddy’s cred) President.
That’s not only some bullsh*t, for real, but that’s pretty damn sad.
The President won’t let some jackasses get to him, thankfully. I’ll let him close out this thing with words of wisdom that are meant for the kids of America, but words we could all stand to take heed to our damn selves.
“I expect great things from each of you,” he said. “So don’t let us down — don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.”
Read the President’s speech to the kids, HERE.
You gotta love the awakened sleeping giants that the Republican Party has suddenly become.
Eight years of napping on the job while the Dick ‘N Dubya Experience tore this country a new one has given them a nice, healthy zest for life that makes the Energizer Bunny look like a slacker. Just in time to start unloading on the new HNIC black guy in The Big Chair new Democratic President as if he was the one who lied about Weapons Of Mass Destruction, totally let Big Oil pimp out gas pumps like new blonds with boob jobs at The Chicken Ranch and ignore the signs that The Great Depression II-The Empire Strikes Back was coming at us like a runaway Mack truck on Lombard Street in San Francisco.
Didn’t hear from those dudes or the Democrats much either (more about those dooshes later) for 8 years but now they’re back and this time, it’s personal! No seriously, it’s personal. Why else would bitter sore loser former Republican Presidential candidate Grumpy The Dwarf
aka John McCain, starts sweating President Obama over frackin’ helicopters as if Obama put spinner rims and hydraulics on the bitch?
The encounter between the victor and the vanquished came at the end of a “fiscal responsibility summit” at the White House. As a ranking senator, Mr. McCain joined other lawmakers at the opening session, taking a seat in the sixth row in the East Room, where he remained silent and unacknowledged.
Mr. McCain, a stern expression fixed on his face, did not seem to be having a good time. During a smaller breakout session, an account provided by a reporter who was present noted that he “appeared irritable and close to losing his temper at one point.”
At the closing session, though, Mr. Obama called on Mr. McCain to offer any thoughts. Mr. McCain praised Mr. Obama for holding the event, then suggested one priority should be dealing with out-of-control military contracts. Exhibit A was the program to replace the current Marine One helicopters, with costs mushrooming to $11.2 billion from $6.1 billion. The Defense Science Board issued a new study blaming “poor communication” about aircraft requirements between the government and contractors. Lockheed Martin declared Monday that it was “committed to the program’s success” and would meet any conditions imposed by an Obama administration review.
“Your helicopter is now going to cost as much as Air Force One,” Mr. McCain told Mr. Obama. “I don’t think there is any more graphic demonstration of how good ideas have cost taxpayers an enormous amount of money.”
To which the President replied:
“The helicopter I have now seems perfectly adequate to me,” he said to laughter. “Of course, I’ve never had a helicopter before, you know? Maybe I’ve been deprived and I didn’t know it. “But I think it is in example of the procurement process gone amok. And we’re going to have to fix it.”
Which should make Kenan Thompson happy:
Anyway, way to flip that nonsense, Prez. Nice try McCain, now go sit down and shut up, loser.
Now about those jag-off Democrats. Hey Dems, you see how the Republicans are all over President Obama? They are sending the big dogs after him even over sh*t he had no part of. Y’all had Dubya Bush in the cross-hairs for 8 years. You sat back on your haunches watching Dick Cheney’s puppet lying and sending Americans off to die behind those lies, ignoring dire situations here at home (hello Katrina), letting Wall Street, the Oil Industry, Major League Baseball, etc…etc…etc… to run buck fu*king wild and YOU DIDN’T EVEN COME AT HIM HALF AS HARD AS JOHN MCCAIN WENT AFTER THE PRESIDENT OVER A GAWD DAMN HELICOPTER!
Last night, I’m watching Nancy Pelosi and that chump couldn’t even get glory hound Joe Biden to stand up and take a bow when the President was giving him props:
and this is the hooker on the point of the Senate Speaker Of The House, second in the United States presidential line of succession? Please. Then you see assholes like Jesse Jackson, Jr. out there getting autographs from the President like he’s a fu*king groupie at a Debbie Gibson mall concert. Je-sus Wept!
Enough about those dickcrusts. I want them gone when their re-election bids come up. Y’all didn’t do a damn thing when you got into office and you’re really not doing a damn thing now to take on these Republican “attacks” on your President. You are out!
About last night, the President delivered his first big speech to Congress. He rolled in like a superstar (a little late–no comments about CPT, please, thank you). Man, that dude know how to work a room:
So The President went out and does what he do. Hey, you may not like the President but you gotta admit, the man gives great speech. You better bring your A-game if you’re going to follow that. The Republicans know this but, unfortunately, they can’t call on The Gipper to bring the pain:
So they have to resort to their new tactic:
Conservative Affirmative Action!
The Governor of Katrinaville (Louisiana), The Hindu Redneck, The Red States Great Brown Hope, The Right-Wing Response to the Obama Express, Piyush aka Bobby “Jingle Jingle Jangle” Jindal got the green light to open up a can on the President’s speech. Aww, snap! Bring it Piyush! Bring the pain, brother! Show’em how it’s done, baby! Yee-haw!
Let me tell you a story.
During Katrina, I visited Sheriff Harry Lee, a Democrat and a good friend of mine. When I walked into his makeshift office, I’d never seen him so angry. He was yelling into the phone: “Well, I’m the Sheriff and if you don’t like it you can come and arrest me!” I asked him: “Sheriff, what’s got you so mad?” He told me that he had put out a call for volunteers to come with their boats to rescue people who were trapped on their rooftops by the flood waters. The boats were all lined up ready to go, when some bureaucrat showed up and told them they couldn’t go out on the water unless they had proof of insurance and registration. I told him, “Sheriff, that’s ridiculous.” And before I knew it, he was yelling into the phone: “Congressman Jindal is here, and he says you can come and arrest him too!” Harry just told the boaters to ignore the bureaucrats and go start rescuing people.
Um…that’s it? Never mind the corny ass story, man, you did not use the late Sheriff Harry Lee in a feel good story, did you? The same guy who once told this story:
“If there are some young blacks driving a car late at night in a predominantly white neighborhood, they will be stopped. There’s a pretty good chance they’re up to no good. It’s obvious two young blacks driving a rinky-dink car in a predominantly white neighborhood — I’m not talking about on the main thoroughfare, but if they’re on one of the side streets and they’re cruising around — they’ll be stopped.”
Nice move, Piyush. Man, the press is gonna eat you like catfish (oh look, the results are in and guess what? Epic fail, duuuude) Wow, I don’t know what you were going for but today, the Republicans are getting nostalgic over Sarah Palin.
Welcome to the Big Leagues, playa. Sucks to be you.