Nia Long Said Beyonce Can’t Act…Oh No She Didn’t!

Actually, no, she didn’t.

“I didn’t see ‘Obsessed,’ so I can’t comment, but it’s just not about how talented you are anymore. It’s about, ‘How much box-office revenue will this person generate?’ When you see certain people – we won’t name names – they just don’t have the skill, and no one in their team has said, ‘You need acting classes,’” the former Love Jones star replied curtly in the August issue of Britain’s Pride Magazine.

Oh, yeah, it’s on.  She didn’t even have to say “you know who’s name”

Just mention that janky assed OBSESSION movie just once and Beyonce Fan is ever so PISSED and Tweetin’ their troubled little minds into a spastic orgasm of hateraid the size of Texas.

I’m not really worried about them dudes getting in a tizzy, but I am happy as a runaway slave that this will stop them from filling up YouTube with their troubling  renditions of SINGLE LADIES:

Please stop.

I’m not really scared of King & Queen of The House Of Dereon declaring war on Hollywood.

The Kang & Queen Of H.O.D.

Then coming in, suing Katherine for full custody of Paris, Blanket and Scrappy Doo and pimping them out as Destiny’s Child II/The Empire Strikes Back.  Um, wait, wrong Gravy Train Parents.  My bad.

Naw, what scares me is that this one here

Is gonna put a “H” on her chest and HANDLE DAT BICH, Chokeadelphia style, Lord knows she’s already dressed…for something (another “winning” fashion from The House Of Dereon?)

I would much rather see some beatdown action, anything that will keep Solange from putting her verbal skills into play.   Nia don’t want none of that, the world don’t want none of that.

Jesus wept.

Anyway, Nia’s preaching to the choir.  She had more to say, of course:

She also goes on to say, “If you’re a singer not an actress, you should sing. If you’re a rapper, you should rap,” “If you take time to develop your craft, God bless you. Jamie Foxx is an example of both [actor and singer].”

(This interview must have taken place BEFORE The B.E.T. Awards…had to, just had to…)

Nothing scares me into hitting the crack pipe quick than the phrase “Rapper/Singer Turned Actor”.   Now there are exceptions to every rule.  Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Jr., Marky Mark (until Will Smith became Mr. 4th Of July, our best rapper turned actor was Marky Mark, well if you count SEVEN POUNDS and WILD WILD WEST, Marky Mark still is, whoops PLANET OF THE APES…nevermind)…but lately, whew!  Rappers and singers been funking up the big and little screen with their Cinematic halitosis.  You just try to watch Common in TERMINATOR: SALVATION for more than 30 seconds without wanting to go out on a date with Steve McNair’s Persian Honeydip.

I’m sorry, Aunt Gladys!

And don’t get me started on this:

Just.don’t.go.there.

Hey, I tell you what Nia, we’ll send Beyonce and Common to acting class for life and you keep Cap’n Baby Wipes

…away from the recording studio.  Restraining order distance ain’t far enough, from Kansas City to Chicago isn’t far enough but that’ll do…for now.

P.S.:  Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that Nia Long does have valid points nor I am not trying to side with Beyonce or anything but I kinda laughed when she brought up Jamie Foxx as her main example of someone who’s honed their craft. Because, if I was Beyo, I would use your own words and flip them back on you:

Nia further added, “If you were able to take all the Black actresses and the choices we’ve made collectively, it’s a pure reflection of what you see on film. People need to work. But the content? The opportunities for Black actresses are more widespread today, but the quality has suffered.”

No sh*t.

...Black Hollywood, you ain't helping, either

I know that it was the 20th Century but I still want my money back in 1999 dollars for watching this mess.  Oh, Black Hollywood, for every one finger point at someone, there are three point back at you…unless you got that weird 78 degree angle thing going on with your fingers like Denzel does.